che 3 outing~

every year eh che 3, we fix to have a CL team outing~ ( CL = cheng lan) this year ofcz nth change, we go again for bukit merah~ but this time we go earlier than last year, unexpected is CL master oso reach our gather spot on time, because he is the one last year late almost 3 hours to find stupid contact lens shop on che 3~

so we have plenty of time to enjoy all water sport there, this year is different, we invite those CL girls to join us oso~ really different~ some time, gathering n outing will be more fun when having girls around~ (dont say i am chi ko, but this is my and all man's real feeling!!!) ^^

actually i had a stupid desire to met a girl which i met last year in here, bukit merah.. last year i didnt really take action to take her contact, this really do bother me a while.. haih..

but any way, this time the trip is more fun after all~ i play crazily with all those CL guy~

i wonder if i n a girl become good frenz de, izzit i lose the chance to chase her n ask her become my girlfriend? may be LOVE need timing, i missed it last time, now she no longer can be mine.. so sad.. when i look at her, i always question myself, y i didnt take any action last time, why? beside regret, what can i do? i am really a loser in relationship..

keep thinking of her, since meet up with her again.. haih, feel so headache now.. hate the feeling when i miss some one who didnt know and miss me.. may be some one is right, why start it if it wont hv any result..

tired + sad T.T

Chinese new year~

feel so different this year~ for all of u, although nothing much different compare to previous CNY, but for me, CNY become a celebration which i can meet up with all old buddy who not living or working in pg, really happy to hv fun again with all of them~ may be is because old de, so start to appreciate the moment meeting our old friends..
or may be after grow up n working de, so very hard to hv chance to meet up, so really appreciate every moment meet up with them..
feel so relax now, first day of CNY~ after last few night of crazy celebration with friends~ finally can rest n stay at home de..
just now my brother ask me when wanna go my relative there 'pai nian'? i donno how to replay him.. because i really lazy to go out la... feel tired to move my ass out of the chair infront of my computer... hehe.. so weird, izzit ang pow no longer attract me? cham.. ><
plan to rest in 1st n 2nd days in CNY, then start to hv all activities with friends until week end~ cant wait for tat~ ^^

awaken~

although been through a lot of things in past few years, but i still not satisfy with the outcome, 'i can be much more better than that' this thought is always pop up in my mind these days~

in just a blink of eye, i am now living in the year 2010~ this year is really a meaningful year which i really don't want to waste it.. i always defeated by my laziness in the past few years, now is time to 'wake up', life is that short which i cant afford to lose any more time on it..

this year need to strictly achieve my personal revolution and go all out to challenge every single challenges which i will meet~!!! this is the year for me to write down my first victory report, and its the beginning for every years victory~!!!

if we want to gain victory in every single moment, we need to defeat n control our biggest enemy in our life! which is we ourselves, only by overcome our weak points then only can say we already succeed! ^^

lets make full use of every second in year 2010, so we will have no regret and the happiest year ever~!!! gambateh!!!

无奈

许多年来，我一直坚辛的槊造完美的人性，当我以为我已经快要完成时，才知道我只成功的槊造了完美的外表，

内里却空无一物，甚至脆弱得可怜。。。任何一次的失败，就像一把铁锤用力锤在我虚伪的外壳上，不只粉粹了
我的面具，还粉粹了我的心，我的雄心壮志，我的梦。。。残忍的毁灭我的一切。。

我渴望成功，胜利，万众瞩目。就因为我太相信我可以达成，所以当我发觉我越长大就越离目标越远时，我突然迷失了。跌入了无边的漩涡中。。抽身难。

我害怕，害怕在无边大海中，不知何去何从的感觉。。

我无助，仿佛浩瀚虚空，只有我一人。。

我无声呐喊，好像所有的力气都用来驱赶满心的愁雾，再也使不出丁点力气。。

面对与逃避，我，竟会选择逃避，活了这么久，我看这次是心灵上，败得最澈底的一次了。。我真的好害怕永远都站不起来。。

我讨厌这样的我，懦弱，自卑。但我不得不接受，因为这样的我，也是我。。

好想，好想。。寻回昔日勇往直前，不惧困难的我。。

但是，我清楚明白那是过去的我，现在的我只要再站起来，克服眼前的弱点，那我将会更强大。。

唉，知易行难。。人生莫不如此。。

8/11/09 死过番生

死亡，总是发生在我们最预料不到的时刻。。

可能明年，或明天，或下一秒。。 我们无从得知，人类充其量只能够活好现在，掌握这一刻，我们的力量太渺小了。。

今天，在BTCC练习完，回程时，因为太累了，整车的人都睡着了，雄一个人驾着车，也许没有人陪他交谈，在一刹那间，我经历了生死一线间的情形。因为我们整辆车的一边冲上路沿，我坐在司机的旁边，刚好是我那一边，我一回神，就见到路灯柱在我眼前，千钧一发，雄转回路上去，路灯柱和车子差身而过，一秒的差异，让我现在还有机会在这里写blog，分享给大家知道。。 


我没有被吓倒，也没有什么想法，人家说在面临死亡的一迅间，会回想许多东西，但我却脑袋一片空白。。过后，我也 没当一回事，一切如常。。也许不是第一次了吧。。


回想起来，那时，只要车子速度快一点点，还是雄反应慢一秒，或少了那么一点的福运，我看我不是进棺材就是ICU了。生死一线间，太不可思议了。。^^


就当死多一次了，应该更要珍惜身边的一切和生命的每一秒～！！！明天，又是我的重生！！！

1/11/09 槟威大桥马拉松比赛

本来打算今年参加槟威大桥马拉松比赛，因为从没有机会享受在槟威大桥上步行的乐趣。。今年真的好想体验一下，不过昨晚教练跟我们说，因为12月有个体操公开赛，所以21和22号晚上都有练习，哇靠～！！只好取消今年挑战槟威大桥的创举，明年才报名。 >.<

如果我坚持参加的话，那21和22号的行程就会是：
21号 9时至6时 整天工作
晚上 7时至11时 地狱式练习 ^^
22号凌晨 1时 睡觉
凌晨 1时30分 醒
凌晨 2时 到queensbay,马拉松现场
凌晨 3时 起跑
早上8时 完毕
9时至中午1时 BTCC训练
3时至6时 休息
晚上7时 再地狱式练习。。


分析结论是，坚持参加的结果，可能会因体力不支而暴毙。。:p

26/10/09 改变

在江湖打混了几年，应该更醒目和成长了不少，但是，为什么我总认为，我还是当年的我，一点也没变。。这是不长进吧。。唉。。

这几年，苦是吃了不少，但是到头来，我还是一无所有。。是时候反省一下了，脑袋涌现了美国大选时obama的口号“改变”。这就真的让他给做到了，成功改变了美国的历史～

我也想改变～！！！

今天，上司和我讲了近一个钟头，我不敢说我是茅塞顿开，但是在那一刻，我下定决心，要澈底改变我自己！我从来没有遇见这么好的上司，这么包容，这么了解，这么关心下属。。我如果无法澈底改变自己，让自己在行业中成功的话，我真的愧对他和一路来相信与支持我的人！！


没有妥协的余地，接下来的一年，我要让自己全力接受磨炼！成为第一名！