don become a robot!!!

last night having a gathering with a bunch of high school students, from the meet, i found out that most of the students nowadays afraid of speaking and share their ideas in public..

we as organizer, we which to organize a meeting which is joyful, relax, having two way conversation and knowledge sharing in between us (old generation) n those high school students (new generation), but out of my expectation, most of them are really shy to talk.. of cause i know its hard to bring out the courage to share our thought in public, but i really hope to train up a bunch of youth which really can make it, having self determination n develop thought or thinking which belong to their own. not some robot which create by our lousy education system..

most of thoughts n behavior we hv today too reliable n influence by our culture, education n experience in the past. this affect the teenager now dont even know wat they want in their life, we live a life not we wanted, is a life wat the society n others want us to live, dont u feel this is pity? dont u ever think about it? why? why we cant have our own lovely life we want? why we need to concern so much of others sight of view?

back to the topic, so why public sharing so horrible?

we ourselves is the one who make sharing in public so horrible. we have no confident on our thoughts, we always judge before we tell others our idea, we scare people will criticize us, people dislike or disagree our thought. hey! u will never know unless u speak it out~!!! so why haven fight for it, already made a prediction on the result?

doesnt matter who is around u, they are elder or professional, is not important, sharing is to tell others your thoughts, there is no another 'you' in this world with same face n thinking, u might have some knowledge others dont know, or u have ur own sight of view which is particularly own by u~

so don be a robot~ u must think wat u want, wat u need, wat u gonna do.. not other ask u to talk this u talk this, others tell u to think like this, u just follow.. ends up, u become another him or her.
copy n paste learning wont create a human mind, only program u become a robot! remember, live ur own life!!!

mankind

this post not represent all man in this world, i only express my feeling toward myself.. ^^

when i saw a pretty girl, i hope i can be her boy friend(almost every time~ ) if i didn't take any action to further our relationship, we (almost every time) become friends... then i will meet another pretty one which i can forget about the past n try to be 'friend' with her again~ this cycle never end..

i know courage always play a big role here.. but i tends to forget it when face to face meeting with girls.. love is blind, so i become blind when i feel i am falling in love with some one, but who will going to love a guy with closing eye.. gosh~

conclusion, i fail because i meet, then i think n think n think n think n no action.. so i try to meet another one, then i think again, think again n donno how to take action...
so to avoid this bad cycle continue, i should meet, then don think, just action, action n action~ haha~ then i think love not only make people blind n also making a lot of fool like me~ ^^ haha~

gamble

CNY.. always is the best time to meet up with all frenz n gambling, after few days for keep on gamble, i totally feel sick about it.. i hate gambling with friends~!!!

gamble is a game which dig out our greedy desire, all people become selfish n greedy, gambling with friends is even worst.. because wining friends money make us feel bad, losing to them make us feel worst.. so there is still no win win situation..

for me, gambling always is fun where in the progress, when heart beats increase, when all people start involve in, when there is no way we got to know is it we can win next round, the curiosity toward the unknown result~ there is always so fun when we doesn't know what will happen next~

at last, hate gambling with friends + gambling amount is too small~!!! there is no way i going to gambling with only RM0.10 bet on the table!!! this is wasting my time~ actually i just experience it, and this cost me 3 hours to lose around a ringgit.. its not only waste my time, my energy, my concentration, and this no point at all~

che 3 outing~

every year eh che 3, we fix to have a CL team outing~ ( CL = cheng lan) this year ofcz nth change, we go again for bukit merah~ but this time we go earlier than last year, unexpected is CL master oso reach our gather spot on time, because he is the one last year late almost 3 hours to find stupid contact lens shop on che 3~

so we have plenty of time to enjoy all water sport there, this year is different, we invite those CL girls to join us oso~ really different~ some time, gathering n outing will be more fun when having girls around~ (dont say i am chi ko, but this is my and all man's real feeling!!!) ^^

actually i had a stupid desire to met a girl which i met last year in here, bukit merah.. last year i didnt really take action to take her contact, this really do bother me a while.. haih..

but any way, this time the trip is more fun after all~ i play crazily with all those CL guy~

i wonder if i n a girl become good frenz de, izzit i lose the chance to chase her n ask her become my girlfriend? may be LOVE need timing, i missed it last time, now she no longer can be mine.. so sad.. when i look at her, i always question myself, y i didnt take any action last time, why? beside regret, what can i do? i am really a loser in relationship..

keep thinking of her, since meet up with her again.. haih, feel so headache now.. hate the feeling when i miss some one who didnt know and miss me.. may be some one is right, why start it if it wont hv any result..

tired + sad T.T

Chinese new year~

feel so different this year~ for all of u, although nothing much different compare to previous CNY, but for me, CNY become a celebration which i can meet up with all old buddy who not living or working in pg, really happy to hv fun again with all of them~ may be is because old de, so start to appreciate the moment meeting our old friends..
or may be after grow up n working de, so very hard to hv chance to meet up, so really appreciate every moment meet up with them..
feel so relax now, first day of CNY~ after last few night of crazy celebration with friends~ finally can rest n stay at home de..
just now my brother ask me when wanna go my relative there 'pai nian'? i donno how to replay him.. because i really lazy to go out la... feel tired to move my ass out of the chair infront of my computer... hehe.. so weird, izzit ang pow no longer attract me? cham.. ><
plan to rest in 1st n 2nd days in CNY, then start to hv all activities with friends until week end~ cant wait for tat~ ^^

awaken~

although been through a lot of things in past few years, but i still not satisfy with the outcome, 'i can be much more better than that' this thought is always pop up in my mind these days~

in just a blink of eye, i am now living in the year 2010~ this year is really a meaningful year which i really don't want to waste it.. i always defeated by my laziness in the past few years, now is time to 'wake up', life is that short which i cant afford to lose any more time on it..

this year need to strictly achieve my personal revolution and go all out to challenge every single challenges which i will meet~!!! this is the year for me to write down my first victory report, and its the beginning for every years victory~!!!

if we want to gain victory in every single moment, we need to defeat n control our biggest enemy in our life! which is we ourselves, only by overcome our weak points then only can say we already succeed! ^^

lets make full use of every second in year 2010, so we will have no regret and the happiest year ever~!!! gambateh!!!

无奈

许多年来，我一直坚辛的槊造完美的人性，当我以为我已经快要完成时，才知道我只成功的槊造了完美的外表，

内里却空无一物，甚至脆弱得可怜。。。任何一次的失败，就像一把铁锤用力锤在我虚伪的外壳上，不只粉粹了
我的面具，还粉粹了我的心，我的雄心壮志，我的梦。。。残忍的毁灭我的一切。。

我渴望成功，胜利，万众瞩目。就因为我太相信我可以达成，所以当我发觉我越长大就越离目标越远时，我突然迷失了。跌入了无边的漩涡中。。抽身难。

我害怕，害怕在无边大海中，不知何去何从的感觉。。

我无助，仿佛浩瀚虚空，只有我一人。。

我无声呐喊，好像所有的力气都用来驱赶满心的愁雾，再也使不出丁点力气。。

面对与逃避，我，竟会选择逃避，活了这么久，我看这次是心灵上，败得最澈底的一次了。。我真的好害怕永远都站不起来。。

我讨厌这样的我，懦弱，自卑。但我不得不接受，因为这样的我，也是我。。

好想，好想。。寻回昔日勇往直前，不惧困难的我。。

但是，我清楚明白那是过去的我，现在的我只要再站起来，克服眼前的弱点，那我将会更强大。。

唉，知易行难。。人生莫不如此。。