future

i don know since when i start to think of my future.. i have think, worried, predicted, plan on future, but if future is unpredictable, then why am i doing all of these? is it i think too much? worried too much?

some time its really confusing, and most of the time, i feel upset of staying in a position between future n past.. gosh.. i want to know my future no so damn much, because my past keep telling me i am a loser, i always messed thing up. but i really try hard to change, to improve~ why cant i own a better future, right? feel so lost, i thought i know where n what i should do n achieve, but its really feel uncomfortable when i am going to make those moves.. first step is hard, i really hope the others can be easier.

when i getting older, i start to worry more before making any decision, not really scared of failure, but i really do afraid that i don hv much time to turn back after made wrong decision, may be i can give it a try, but i know i don have much bullets left for try shot, if i miss those, i might not have chance to go for my dream any more. its horrible when think of failure..

any way, life march on, i have no idea what will going to be in future, i only can do now is do the best i can, strive with no regret! gosh~ failure! fuck off! nothing stop me to achieve what i want!