the dearest women in my life...

do u know how is the feeling when the most important women in ur life telling u infront of u that she is going to die?

although i know dying is the confirm path that all of us will been through, but i didnt expect this to be so hard...

16 years ago, when my dad past away, because at that moment i m still too small to be sad, but i really feel the sadness when the time i slowly grow up, when i look at others family, i m so jealous... donno how many days n nights, i keep telling myself, if my dad is alive, sure i will live more happily n my mom dont need to suffer that much.. but past is dust.. :)

today, looking at my dearest grandma, this my first time experience such a tough period, from that day doctor told us that she is having liver cancer and they cant do any things because she is too old for any medicine... this is really a hard time for me, what i can do now is only accompany her and each time i saw she suffer, i feel so bad... first time experience this...

today... right in front of me, i know grandma is suffering, not only physically, but also mentally, she really dont wish to bring so many trouble to all family members, she say she is going to die soon... tears fall, but i still need to control and encourage her, no one can share my feeling, no body know how important grandma mean to me... after my dad past away, she is the one who take care of my daily life, because my mom need to work to raise up 3 of us.. so, without grandma, i m nothing now...

this is actually very normal for most people, because grandma old already, sure sick de.. but for me, i rather the one who sick is me, better than i saw her suffer so much n i cant do any thing...